so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
