porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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