She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
