She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
