Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
