the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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