You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
