i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
