It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
