can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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