Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
