Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
