my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
