He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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