i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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