I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
