I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
