Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
