he wants to bone in the snuggie
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
