Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
