2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
