Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
