please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
