dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
