"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
