How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
