I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize