I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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