Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize