just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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