i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
