my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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