Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
