I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
