Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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