She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
