when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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