? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
