I wish I could teleport
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize