you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
