i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
