I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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