umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
