Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Randomize