It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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