If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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