Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
