Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
