i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
