Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
