What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
