Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
