you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
