i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
