You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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