Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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