i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize