I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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